what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
