Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
