Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
