I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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