i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
