What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
and you fell through a lawn chair
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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