It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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