By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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