Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I touched a dick in church today
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
