absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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