can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
