No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
