tell your sister to shave her snatch
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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