Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
