i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
