Screwed.edu
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
