sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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