wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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