I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
