You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
