I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
