I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
