Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
