the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
