I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize