when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
