used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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