I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
