True but thats because hes a fetus.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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