Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
