Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
