In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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