so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
