suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
