In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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