she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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