There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize