It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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