That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
