You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
