You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
