Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
