goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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