Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
