we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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