Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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