oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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