Define "chronic" masturbator.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
