Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
