Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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