Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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