Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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