I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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