The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize