Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
