god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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