i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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