i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
